Celebrity Dominatrix

All this week we’re posting on trends in fem-power we expect to see in the next twelve months, as the “Disposable Male Decade” continues.

UP: Lindsay Lohan dominatrix.

For reasons not even comprehensible to us, LiLo is emerging as the new Marilyn, a girl-woman angel-demon whose occasional suffering elicits tenderness and admiration from male and female alike.

(Here’s hoping, and predicting by the way, that for Lindsay Lohan, there will be an even longer career, and a happier ending.)

The femme fatale is so intimately about possibility… softness that destroys, innocence that corrupts… in her presence, anything can happen, depending on her caprice.

Lindsay Lohan fits that closely. She’s a bona fide actress, she has many different looks, she doesn’t need men (at all), and she has both scars, and true style, as in the Jackie-Kennedy-esque interview with Vanity Fair last fall.)

Her leggings line is surging, her role in Machete is riveting, and yah, she likes to party (while walking on a carpet of males, in her growing body of femdom fetish art.) She’s about 50 feet taller than her little mini-men paparazzi critics, and — without even intending to — will step on many of them in 2011.

DOWN: Michael Lohan, officious ex-absent-father neo-stage-dad.

Yah, it’s quite a mouthful, but it’s also onomatopoeiac: With Lindsay Lohan’s recovery and rise in 2011, we look forward to hearing less and less about her Lilliputian father…

That’s him, flexing nearby: a guy who makes “Ros” (Rosiland Russell) in Gypsy look like a shrinking violet.

If he has sense, he’ll fade away quietly as his daughter soaks up the sun, but he doesn’t seem like that kind of guy — so he’ll probably have to be kicked aside more visibly.

Either way, it’ll be fun to watch Lindsay wax, and her headline-seeking dada wane. Not that we loathe him less, but that we like Lindsay more.

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The world’s 20 most dominant women as of November 30, 2010:

1. Lindsay Lohan (Left, courtesy of 360 Pictures, all rights reserved, and Fair Use Doctrine.) LiLo surges to #1 after her unabashed femme fatale role in Machete — and the humilation of her pathetic cuckold father.

With Megan Fox, Eva Longoria, and Cameron Diaz on the rise, LiLo’s spot is far from secure. Make sure to join the Lindsay Lohan fan group and track her progress in the Celebrity Dominatrix Power Rankings.

2. Angelina Jolie. Angelina a solid second, continuing with the cuckolding and enslavement of Brad Pitt. It appears “the process,” as friends call it, has already begun. Bark like a dog, Brad. Bark. That’s a good boy.

3. Helen Mirren of Red climbs all the way to #3, besting former #1 femdom Megan Fox in the Esquire sexiest-woman-alive survey in a landslide.

We happen to agree that Mirren is truly femme fatale… and her role in Reds is only the latest. (That’s Helen, left, in her sexy bronze brassiere scene from the move Excalibur, left — just before she seduces and outwits Merlin.) See our forthcoming tribute this November.

4. Megan Fox. Vagina power dropped briefly out of the top 10, as Megan Fox lost a celebrity-femdom survey to Helen Mirren (and by a decisive 2-1 margin) as the sexiest woman alive. But she surges back into the top 10 as submissive director Micheal Bay falls to his knees in Megan worship and admits his enslavement to close friends.

This young lady is likely to remain in the celebrity femdom Top 20 for a decade or more to come. Worship!

5. Cameron Diaz. The dumping and public humilation of Alex Rodriguez — the greatest choke artist in the history of the New York Yankees — vaults dominatrix Cameron into the top 5. She’s crushed an over-rated celebrity male submissive with elegance and femdom grace —

6. Britney Spears. Keep an eye out for our forthcoming fan-worship galleries of Britney crushing males to death — courtesy of the Britney Spears Scissor-Dominatrix fan site at Yahoo.

7. Eva Longoria. The trampling of Tony Parker continues; you read the story of his cuckolding first here.

8. Morgan Fairchild. The femme fatale fetish icon of a generation remains in the top 10, but needs a news item to get back to number 1.

9. Maggie Q. The new La Femme Nikita and, judging from massive reader response to our one post on her, possibly the most fatale. Don’t forget to join the new Maggie Q fan group.

10. Sarah Michelle Gellar. (Right, courtesy of M-Moeslund.DK, all rights reserved.)

Most men have never gotten over their Buffy fantasy, and neither have we. She was the girlydom Morgan Fairchild, who grew up to be the heartless bitch die-for-me vixen of Cruel Intentions…. the femme fatale of the 1990s. But she’s clinging to a top-10 spot mainly for sentimental reasons; time to kick some balls, darling.

And the next ten:

11. Jenn Sterger. Brett Favre and Roger Goodell, meet your Delilah. Jenn Sterger surges up the Femdom Power Rankings, perhaps awaiting only one more triumph over gentrifying signal-caller Brett to hit the top 10. “If it gets any better than this, we can’t wait.”
12. Melissa Pentauk. Foundrix of Humiatrix Nationix: res ipse loquitur. Never returns our tweets or emails, adding to her Queen-Patricia-style allure, but we wish she’d call.
13. Stella Van Gent. Her legs are like the Eiffel Tower, squared. (And she’s German, the nation of femdom.) With no disrespect to the U.S. and its faux war on terror, diese Beine sind die echt “Twin Towers.”
14. Princess Nikita Fatale. 2008 Femme Fatale of the Year at DieForHer.com and still that site’s most popular feature femme. She’s about to make a surge with the release of her forthcoming clip for JamesBondRIP.com.
15. Christina Aguilera. Her soon-to-be-ex husband apparently sent more than 5 dozen text messages begging for Christina to accept him as a slave-cuckold. More to come, and certainly enough, combined with Burlesque, to return Christina to the Top 20. More to come on her lesbian vacation to cuckold slave-husband Jordan.
16. Sharon Stone. Could easily jump back in the top 10. Where’s Basic Instinct III?
17. Sarah Palin. (Left, with Richard Cheney). We’re looking for big things out of this woman, a future Sarah Palin dominatrix. But top-5 spots don’t come cheaply. Let’s start with a public flogging of John McCain and Joe Lieberman. Sarah, call Mistress Cheyenne’s office. Meantime, however, her party’s trouncing of the whimpy Obama Democrats in America’s off-year election certainly brings the Yankee Margaret Thatcher up a few slots, to #17. Keep it up, girl.
18. Queen Patricia, the Other World Kingdom. Proof positive that the right woman doesn’t even have to be seen to be dominant.
19. Taylor Momsen. It’s hard to see the torch passing to anyone but Britney Spars after that kiss — oh, that kiss — from Madonna. But young Taylor has the chutzpah and the Schtick… a cool dismissal of her critics and open use of sexual power that spells femdom all over. We can’t pretend she’s not top 20 material any longer.
20 Teri Hatcher. It’s impossible to forget the boot worship from one Holywood exec; the domination of Jay Leno in his Teri Hatcher ass-worship session; or the lesbian kiss with Eva Longoria. Legs, legs, legs — and, well, more legs.

Have we left someone out? Send a memo to , preferably with art, and you may change our mind. Literate entries from males (which constitute about 3 percent of the emails we get) immediately become the property of CelebrityDominatrix.com, and may be posted for the edification of others and embarrassment of the author.

And don’t forget to submit (heheh) your nominations for the new Celebrity Slave Toplist — men like Tony Parker, Bill Clinton, and others who suddenly realize their place in life is groveling at the heel of a beautiful woman.

Meanwhile, here are some discussion links:

Mistress Destiny Femdom Forum thread on femmes fatale. Say hello to some officious clown named Luke while you’re there.

Do you agree that Lindsay Lohan has gotten a raw deal from the Hollywood paparazzi, and has, in responding in her gracious Vanity Fair interview, completely outclassed this booboisie?

Or do you think she deserves to suffer, is getting what’s coming to her, and all that sort of thing?

Take the Lindsay Lohan Celebrity Dominatrix poll now at the Mistress Destiny Forum:

http://www.mistressdestiny.com/forums/showthread.php?t=222052

(Image use by permission, RadarOnline.com, all rights reserved. Read it today: http://www.radaronline.com/)

Kudos to Vanity Fair for being the ones to get an interview with Lindsay Lohan, and kudos to Lohan for not taking the facile route of making a sniveling apology. If nothing else comes out of her recent turmoils than this, this alone places her even higher in our esteem… and of course, has helped her to surge up to #2 on our Celebrity Dominatrix Top 20.

But there’s more to be said after Lohan’s j’accuse, and the Mediacracy’s knee-jerk response accusation that she must be in denial — and here at CelebrityDominatrix.com, where we take our conventional wisdom with a dash of femdom defiance, we’re just the folks to say it.

“Everyone knows” that Lohan is addicted to alcohol, drugs, reckless driving, scissoring, and whatever other aholisms she is (as everyone also knows) in denial about.

But here’s a thought: What if the Hollywood culture is addicted to concluding that megastars and beautiful people are addicts, compulsive self-destroyers? What if the booboisie entertainment press, to borrow from Mencken, is simply unable to stop writing snide, thinly researched analyses, followed by Schadenfreude editorials admonishing stars to “grow up” and “get their act together”?

In that case, it may be the press and the culture itself that are in denial.

Lindsay Lohan has checked herself in for rehab on at least one occasion — was she in denial then? Or behaving like a responsible adult — at least getting herself checked out for a possible problem? Is everyone who gets an evaluation, an addict?

Lohan wore a court-ordered blood-monitor for several weeks, during which time she showed no signs of withdrawal — doesn’t this offer at least suggestive evidence that she’s not an addict, but rather, a kid who has partied it up a few times?

These are just some of the common sense points Lohan makes in her Vanity Fair interview, and we find them cogent. Indeed, mature.

We’re reminded of the masterful Tiger Woods episode on South Park — the sex-addiction-denial episode — where, of course, one of the ironies is that the whole addiction-relief counseling industrial complex is rooting for an “addiction” diagnosis because it wants to get its Danegeld for helping people “overcome their disease.”

Anyone who questions the group exculpation sacro-sanctity is, of course… that’s right… “in denial.”

Here, Lindsay Lohan has chosen to be like the boys at the end of the Tiger Woods episode. She’s not running under the “I’m an addict” excuse tent to absolve herself from blame.

The bottom line is this: In some perverse way, it takes more courage nowaday — a lot more courage — to “deny” that you are an addict, than to give in, cry boo-hoo on 60 Minutes, throw all the responsibility onto your addiction, sign up for the services of some overpriced treatment whore, and receive absolution from the arrogant priesthood of professional celebrity critics.

Good for you, LiLo. You need have no apologies, and, indeed, probably deserve an apology or two from others.

Discuss this article at the Mistress Destiny Form — and take our poll: Lindsay Lohan vs. the Booboisie.

LIKE SO MANY Disney-style brats gone bad, Lindsay Lohan morphed from lovable twin to worn-out cliche by the time she was old enough to be tried outside of juvie.  At least, that is the facile criticism leveled by flash-poppers and e-zine critics — none of whom, come to think of it, have as much talent as Lohan does in her toenail clippings. Welcome to pop modernity.

In fact, however, she’s demonstrated a real resiliency, and more than a little spunk, in recent years.  We’re prepared to say Ms. Lohan is becoming one of our favorite girlydoms this side of Megan “whoever has the vagina is in charge” Fox.

Here’s five reasons we just adore femme-dominatrix Lindsay Lohan:

# 1. It’s trendy to trash her.

For our money, she’s nevertheless made mostly good choices about the movies she makes — Mean Girls is a classic — and accepts the weasels she has to deal with graciously.  “It’s flattering that people want to know so much about me and want to take the time to make up that many things about me.”

Nor does she engage in that now-fashionable Hollywood pastime of bashing others to deflect attention from herself.  Compared to Britney Spears unfavorably as another pop star allegedly falling apart, Lohan stuck to her guns.  “How can you not like Britney Spears?”  Similarly:

# 2. She doesn’t take herself too seriously.

We loved Lohan’s femme fatale pose on the cover of Radar Online (upper right) several summers ago, poking fun at herself by modeling with tommy-guns and other instruments of death while declaring war on the paparazzi that have hounded her since her Parent Trap days.  At the same time, it was dead sexy — a Denise Richards hairdo together with a bit more saucy attitude and taut legs and tush.

And if you thought the cover was hot, you should watch the video of the shoot. Lohan vamps as if she’s quite at home with the gun, and seems quite comfortable with the idea of dispatching multiple males.

Also with Radar’s permission, we’re posting a clip of the video to the left, and will archive it against the possibility that the YouTube Nazis later decide it doesn’t merit space on their prestigious and intellectually rigorous site.  (Constantly plagued by the vagaries of YouTube, we’ll do our best to keep these videos up and running.)

# 3. She dates well.

According to multiple reports, Lohan’s latest love interest is supermodel Indrani — half of the respected lens duo of Markus Klinko and Indrani.  Indrani, 36, is un homme serieux, a Princeton grad, and a young lady with serious political and social ideas.  Leave it to Fox News to belittle the Indrani as Lohan’s “cougar girlfriend,” but we think its a nice match.

And as the matchup also suggests…

# 4. She doesn’t need men.

As she reportedly told a friend who works at one of entertainment shows, “men are superfluous.”  All the more reason, of course, why so many men find her irresistible.  The male species always wants what it can’t have, and what it can’t have, since the invention of modern birth control, high heels, cock-lock devices, and stockings, is woman.

This reprise (see right) of the classic Bardot pose from Lohan’s 2006 shoot says it all — the pantyhose, the crossed arms and legs. Everything combines to block male access and frustrate the male orgasm, or at least, rework it into a useful tool for use by intelligent females.

# 5. She enjoys herself.  BMFD.

A world with more Lindsay Lohans would be a world with more beauty, more parties, and more servile males, serving at the feet of the beautiful women who are partying on top of the servile males.

In the words of Paul McCartney, “and what’s wrong with that?”

Editor’s note:  1. The images above are reproduced by express permission of Radar Online, 2007, all rights reserved.  Please visit their site.  2. We’re in the process of moving this blog over from google’s miserably failed attempt at FTP service to a Wordpress-based blog.  If you have trouble locating any old pages, let us know; and if you have any skills at basic Wordpress setup, please drop us a not as well.