Celebrity Dominatrix

Kudos to Vanity Fair for being the ones to get an interview with Lindsay Lohan, and kudos to Lohan for not taking the facile route of making a sniveling apology. If nothing else comes out of her recent turmoils than this, this alone places her even higher in our esteem… and of course, has helped her to surge up to #2 on our Celebrity Dominatrix Top 20.

But there’s more to be said after Lohan’s j’accuse, and the Mediacracy’s knee-jerk response accusation that she must be in denial — and here at CelebrityDominatrix.com, where we take our conventional wisdom with a dash of femdom defiance, we’re just the folks to say it.

“Everyone knows” that Lohan is addicted to alcohol, drugs, reckless driving, scissoring, and whatever other aholisms she is (as everyone also knows) in denial about.

But here’s a thought: What if the Hollywood culture is addicted to concluding that megastars and beautiful people are addicts, compulsive self-destroyers? What if the booboisie entertainment press, to borrow from Mencken, is simply unable to stop writing snide, thinly researched analyses, followed by Schadenfreude editorials admonishing stars to “grow up” and “get their act together”?

In that case, it may be the press and the culture itself that are in denial.

Lindsay Lohan has checked herself in for rehab on at least one occasion — was she in denial then? Or behaving like a responsible adult — at least getting herself checked out for a possible problem? Is everyone who gets an evaluation, an addict?

Lohan wore a court-ordered blood-monitor for several weeks, during which time she showed no signs of withdrawal — doesn’t this offer at least suggestive evidence that she’s not an addict, but rather, a kid who has partied it up a few times?

These are just some of the common sense points Lohan makes in her Vanity Fair interview, and we find them cogent. Indeed, mature.

We’re reminded of the masterful Tiger Woods episode on South Park — the sex-addiction-denial episode — where, of course, one of the ironies is that the whole addiction-relief counseling industrial complex is rooting for an “addiction” diagnosis because it wants to get its Danegeld for helping people “overcome their disease.”

Anyone who questions the group exculpation sacro-sanctity is, of course… that’s right… “in denial.”

Here, Lindsay Lohan has chosen to be like the boys at the end of the Tiger Woods episode. She’s not running under the “I’m an addict” excuse tent to absolve herself from blame.

The bottom line is this: In some perverse way, it takes more courage nowaday — a lot more courage — to “deny” that you are an addict, than to give in, cry boo-hoo on 60 Minutes, throw all the responsibility onto your addiction, sign up for the services of some overpriced treatment whore, and receive absolution from the arrogant priesthood of professional celebrity critics.

Good for you, LiLo. You need have no apologies, and, indeed, probably deserve an apology or two from others.

Discuss this article at the Mistress Destiny Form — and take our poll: Lindsay Lohan vs. the Booboisie.

LIKE SO MANY Disney-style brats gone bad, Lindsay Lohan morphed from lovable twin to worn-out cliche by the time she was old enough to be tried outside of juvie.  At least, that is the facile criticism leveled by flash-poppers and e-zine critics — none of whom, come to think of it, have as much talent as Lohan does in her toenail clippings. Welcome to pop modernity.

In fact, however, she’s demonstrated a real resiliency, and more than a little spunk, in recent years.  We’re prepared to say Ms. Lohan is becoming one of our favorite girlydoms this side of Megan “whoever has the vagina is in charge” Fox.

Here’s five reasons we just adore femme-dominatrix Lindsay Lohan:

# 1. It’s trendy to trash her.

For our money, she’s nevertheless made mostly good choices about the movies she makes — Mean Girls is a classic — and accepts the weasels she has to deal with graciously.  “It’s flattering that people want to know so much about me and want to take the time to make up that many things about me.”

Nor does she engage in that now-fashionable Hollywood pastime of bashing others to deflect attention from herself.  Compared to Britney Spears unfavorably as another pop star allegedly falling apart, Lohan stuck to her guns.  “How can you not like Britney Spears?”  Similarly:

# 2. She doesn’t take herself too seriously.

We loved Lohan’s femme fatale pose on the cover of Radar Online (upper right) several summers ago, poking fun at herself by modeling with tommy-guns and other instruments of death while declaring war on the paparazzi that have hounded her since her Parent Trap days.  At the same time, it was dead sexy — a Denise Richards hairdo together with a bit more saucy attitude and taut legs and tush.

And if you thought the cover was hot, you should watch the video of the shoot. Lohan vamps as if she’s quite at home with the gun, and seems quite comfortable with the idea of dispatching multiple males.

Also with Radar’s permission, we’re posting a clip of the video to the left, and will archive it against the possibility that the YouTube Nazis later decide it doesn’t merit space on their prestigious and intellectually rigorous site.  (Constantly plagued by the vagaries of YouTube, we’ll do our best to keep these videos up and running.)

# 3. She dates well.

According to multiple reports, Lohan’s latest love interest is supermodel Indrani — half of the respected lens duo of Markus Klinko and Indrani.  Indrani, 36, is un homme serieux, a Princeton grad, and a young lady with serious political and social ideas.  Leave it to Fox News to belittle the Indrani as Lohan’s “cougar girlfriend,” but we think its a nice match.

And as the matchup also suggests…

# 4. She doesn’t need men.

As she reportedly told a friend who works at one of entertainment shows, “men are superfluous.”  All the more reason, of course, why so many men find her irresistible.  The male species always wants what it can’t have, and what it can’t have, since the invention of modern birth control, high heels, cock-lock devices, and stockings, is woman.

This reprise (see right) of the classic Bardot pose from Lohan’s 2006 shoot says it all — the pantyhose, the crossed arms and legs. Everything combines to block male access and frustrate the male orgasm, or at least, rework it into a useful tool for use by intelligent females.

# 5. She enjoys herself.  BMFD.

A world with more Lindsay Lohans would be a world with more beauty, more parties, and more servile males, serving at the feet of the beautiful women who are partying on top of the servile males.

In the words of Paul McCartney, “and what’s wrong with that?”

Editor’s note:  1. The images above are reproduced by express permission of Radar Online, 2007, all rights reserved.  Please visit their site.  2. We’re in the process of moving this blog over from google’s miserably failed attempt at FTP service to a Wordpress-based blog.  If you have trouble locating any old pages, let us know; and if you have any skills at basic Wordpress setup, please drop us a not as well.