Posted in Taylor Momsen on April 23rd, 2011 by admin
Britney, there’s competition.
Bitchy, bratty Taylor Momsen — who, reportedly, once set her dog’s testicles on fire — is making a clear bid for the #1 Femdom Power ranking.
Thursday night, she appeared in a Metallica t-shirt that reads “Kill ‘em all.”
It’s a reference, a publicist says, to males, the “unnecessary” species, and to “lame musicians everywhere” (hmm, who could that mean?) who confuse syntho-bop withrock and roll.
Megan Fox needs no introduction as an actress, nor, recently, as the world’s leading spokesinatrix for female dominance.
1. Her “vagina power” interview says it all.
“Women hold the power,” she tells Cosmo, “because we have the vaginas. If you’re in a heterosexual relationship and you’re a female, you win.”
2. She spurned an offer to play in a future Bond episode for all the right reasons, telling the producers she’d consider a part, but only as a strong femme fatale, not a Bond Bimbo. Attagirl.
3. Oh, more from Cosmo:
“I collect attractive boys… [and] I never call them guys. I always called them boys. Maybe it’s a superiority complex — my needing to keep them down.”
Lots more to come, no doubt, as this young femme fatale continues her reign. For now, she retains a solid #1 in our Celebrity Dominatrix Top 20 Power Rankings, and looks set for many years of wreaking havoc and destruction on the once-powerful male species.
LIKE SO MANY Disney-style brats gone bad, Lindsay Lohan morphed from lovable twin to worn-out cliche by the time she was old enough to be tried outside of juvie. At least, that is the facile criticism leveled by flash-poppers and e-zine critics — none of whom, come to think of it, have as much talent as Lohan does in her toenail clippings. Welcome to pop modernity.
In fact, however, she’s demonstrated a real resiliency, and more than a little spunk, in recent years. We’re prepared to say Ms. Lohan is becoming one of our favorite girlydoms this side of Megan “whoever has the vagina is in charge” Fox.
Here’s five reasons we just adore femme-dominatrix Lindsay Lohan:
# 1. It’s trendy to trash her.
For our money, she’s nevertheless made mostly good choices about the movies she makes — Mean Girls is a classic — and accepts the weasels she has to deal with graciously. “It’s flattering that people want to know so much about me and want to take the time to make up that many things about me.”
Nor does she engage in that now-fashionable Hollywood pastime of bashing others to deflect attention from herself. Compared to Britney Spears unfavorably as another pop star allegedly falling apart, Lohan stuck to her guns. “How can you not like Britney Spears?” Similarly:
# 2. She doesn’t take herself too seriously.
We loved Lohan’s femme fatale pose on the cover of Radar Online (upper right) several summers ago, poking fun at herself by modeling with tommy-guns and other instruments of death while declaring war on the paparazzi that have hounded her since her Parent Trap days. At the same time, it was dead sexy — a Denise Richards hairdo together with a bit more saucy attitude and taut legs and tush.
And if you thought the cover was hot, you should watch the video of the shoot. Lohan vamps as if she’s quite at home with the gun, and seems quite comfortable with the idea of dispatching multiple males.
Also with Radar’s permission, we’re posting a clip of the video to the left, and will archive it against the possibility that the YouTube Nazis later decide it doesn’t merit space on their prestigious and intellectually rigorous site. (Constantly plagued by the vagaries of YouTube, we’ll do our best to keep these videos up and running.)
# 3. She dates well.
According to multiple reports, Lohan’s latest love interest is supermodel Indrani — half of the respected lens duo of Markus Klinko and Indrani. Indrani, 36, is un homme serieux, a Princeton grad, and a young lady with serious political and social ideas. Leave it to Fox News to belittle the Indrani as Lohan’s “cougar girlfriend,” but we think its a nice match.
And as the matchup also suggests…
# 4. She doesn’t need men.
As she reportedly told a friend who works at one of entertainment shows, “men are superfluous.” All the more reason, of course, why so many men find her irresistible. The male species always wants what it can’t have, and what it can’t have, since the invention of modern birth control, high heels, cock-lock devices, and stockings, is woman.
This reprise (see right) of the classic Bardot pose from Lohan’s 2006 shoot says it all — the pantyhose, the crossed arms and legs. Everything combines to block male access and frustrate the male orgasm, or at least, rework it into a useful tool for use by intelligent females.
# 5. She enjoys herself. BMFD.
A world with more Lindsay Lohans would be a world with more beauty, more parties, and more servile males, serving at the feet of the beautiful women who are partying on top of the servile males.
In the words of Paul McCartney, “and what’s wrong with that?”
Editor’s note: 1. The images above are reproduced by express permission of Radar Online, 2007, all rights reserved. Please visit their site. 2. We’re in the process of moving this blog over from google’s miserably failed attempt at FTP service to a Wordpress-based blog. If you have trouble locating any old pages, let us know; and if you have any skills at basic Wordpress setup, please drop us a not as well.
Recently we profiled actress Teri Hatcher, whose long legs and tendency to incite public bootworship among Hollywood elites has caught the eye even of the vanilla press. (For the Hatcher profile, please click here.) But Hatcher isn’t the only as an in-episode or real-life femdom on the cast of Desperate Housewives — not by a long shot.
Consider the kinky cuckholdings of Housewife co-star Eva Longoria. In recent months, Ms. Longoria has reportedly cracked the verbal and conjugal whip repeatedly on her submissive French husband, basketball star Tony Parker, whom Longoria treats in the bedroom as an eager but “fumbling schoolboy” (Longoria, during a 2007 photo shoot) when it comes to serving the needs of his dominant wife.
“I’m the teacher,” she told the press at one point during their courtship. (For a news report, click here.) Speaking to friends more recently, she added, “Tony’s learning — but he knows who’s in charge.”
Longoria’s recent poses for both Citizen K magazine and Mexican GQ ( for photos, click here) and Citizen K magazines, in fact, were meant in part to reassure friends in the Hollywood femdom community — such as Longoria mate Victoria Beckham, also a femdom — that her jock-by-day domestic partner knows who the crotch-sniffer is at night.
(From a vanilla press item dated May 19, 2009: “Friends of the Eva Longoria say she is definitely the more dominant person in her relationship. A source added: ‘Eva wears the trousers in the relationship and if she wants a baby, chances are that Tony won’t have much say in the matter.’ ” Click here for more details.)
Hatcher and Longoria. moreover, may only scratch the surface of Wistiria Lane Asphixiatrixes. Who could forget, for example, the guest appearance by Sharon Lawrence as dominatrix in the December 19, 2004 episode of the series, “Come Back to Me”?
Indeed, there’s enough material from the vixens of Housewivesand their saucy screentwriters — led by Jeff Greenstein — to justify more than one installment of the Celebrity Dominatrix blog.
Meantime, here’s a little bone to chew on, tossed out courtesy of Mrs. Longoria-Parker. Want to see more? We won’t try to whip it out of you, boys. But you might have to join Tony on the floor and bark like a dog.
Britney, there’s competition.
