Celebrity Dominatrix

Britney, there’s competition.

Bitchy, bratty Taylor Momsen — who, reportedly, once set her dog’s testicles on fire — is making a clear bid for the #1 Femdom Power ranking.

Thursday night, she appeared in a Metallica t-shirt that reads “Kill ‘em all.”

It’s a reference, a publicist says, to males, the “unnecessary” species, and to “lame musicians everywhere” (hmm, who could that mean?) who confuse syntho-bop with rock and roll.

The female Alice Cooper — still several months shy of 18 — thus throws her whip into the ring… even as Britney mounts an impressive month, forming an ineluctable fem-power Minaj-a-trois alliance with Nicki and Rihanna.

Kill “all” the males?

Down with “lame” techno-dance-pop?

Clearly, T-Mom has designs near and dear to our hearts…. ushering in the age of the disposable male.

Competition is healthy; competition brings innovation, new ways, hard work, improved methods. It improves everyone.

Taylor Momsen vs. Britney Spears, in a mutual drive to subjugate and enslave the male species. The gauntlet has been thrown.

Taylor Momsen worship –
“girls don’t need men”

Mainstream media are going gaga for the femdom-fatale play that’s storming Canada, Kung Fu Panties.

The Calgary Sun writes:

Consistently funny and occasionally hysterical, Rebecca Northan’s Kung Fu Panties is a wickedly inventive spoof of everything from James Bond spy thrillers to female exploitation films.

Think a more lethal and more dominatrix version of Charlies Angels.

A film blogger seconds: “They’ll make you wish you were bad because the punishment is so good.”

We’re not up in Canada right now, and have little inclination to visit until say June…

but if any loyal readers get a chance to scope the action and want to add your own review or link in our comments section, you’re welcome to do so below. (Comments on Kung Fu panties and its production company, please.)

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The 20 most dominant women in the world as of November 15, 2010:

1. Lindsay Lohan surges to #1 after her unabashed femme fatale role in Machete — we’ve seen the advance clips (thanks to Markus in Hong Kong) — and on that basis alone, LiLo deserves our top spot.

She’s a powerful woman who truly outsizes and outclasses her critics…. with no need for males in life or in love. Vaginas Potenti. Don’t forget, of course, to sign up for our Lindsay Lohan Fan Group, here.

2. Angelina Jolie. Angelina falls one spot, principally owing to a hot fall for Lindsay Lohan more than any mis-steps.

Indeed, Angelina’s doing her job, continuing with the cuckolding and enslavement of Brad Pitt. It appears “the process,” as friends call it, has already begun. Bark like a dog, Brad. Bark. That’s a good boy.

3. Red star Helen Mirren climbs all the way to #3, besting former #1 femdom Megan Fox in the Esquire sexiest-woman-alive survey in a landslide.

We happen to agree that Mirren is truly femme fatale… and her role in Reds is only the latest. (That’s Helen, left, in her sexy bronze brassiere scene from the move Excalibur, left — just before she seduces and outwits Merlin.) See our forthcoming tribute this November.

4. Morgan Fairchild. The femme fatale fetish icon of a generation rises up to #2 (current power rankings), edging political pal Hillary Clinton as we begin our “Hot August” Morgan Fairchild series.

5. Hillary Clinton. Hillary slides, but only a notch. We still say Bubba Bill missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime. Are we the only ones who noticed how well she did among male donors in 2008? Hillary, hand that man a cigar, and ready the strapon.

6. Britney Spears. Has now danced on the bodies of more men onstage than any female since Dolores Gray. And she’s left our celebration of Britney Spears Dominatrix post on her official site for more than a year, further enamoring us. Where Dominatrix Britney has gone, Lindsay Lohan needs to travel.

7. Lucy Liu. From Payback to Charlie’s Angels II. And we hear she digs dishing it out.

8. Domme Dietrich. She’ll take Manhattan. That lovely pose Cameron Diaz just took was prefigured in 2008 by our DD. If you disagree, you tell her; we’re not going to. And to check out her recent productions at Deadly Femmes — striking, sexy, lethal.

9. Sarah Michelle Gellar. Most men have never gotten over their Buffy fantasy, and neither have the editors of CelebrityDominatrix.com. She was the girlydom Morgan Fairchild, who grew up to be the girlydom of Cruel Intentions…. the femme fatale of the 1990s. But she’s clinging to a top-10 spot mainly for sentimental reasons; time to kick some balls, darling.

10. Maggie Q. The new La Femme Nikita and, judging from massive reader response to our one post on her, possibly the most fatale. Don’t forget to join the new Maggie Q fan group.

And the next ten:

11. Eva Longoria. At least Tony Parker has the brains to live as a docile cuckold and valet. See #1 and #5 above.
12. Melissa Penteuk. Foundrix of Humiatrix Nationix: res ipse loquitur. Never returns our tweets or emails, adding to her Queen-Patricia-style allure, but we wish she’d call.
13. Stella Van Gent. Her legs are like the Eiffel Tower, squared. (And she’s German, the nation of femdom.) With no disrespect to the U.S. and its faux war on terror, diese Beine sind die echt “Twin Towers.”
14. Princess Nikita Fatale. 2008 Femme Fatale of the Year at DieForHer.com and still that site’s most popular feature femme. She’s about to make a surge with the release of her forthcoming clip for JamesBondRIP.com.
15. Megan Fox. Vagina power tumbles, as Megan Fox loses a celebrity-femdom survey to Helen Mirren (and by a decisive 2-1 margin) as the sexiest woman alive. CelebrityDominatrix.com is nothing if not fair and democratic. The electorate has spoken, and, appropriately, Mirren takes spot #5, and Megan Fox drops from the top 10.
16. Sharon Stone. Could easily jump back in the top 10. Where’s Basic Instinct III?
17. Sarah Palin. We’re looking for big things out of this woman, a future Sarah Palin dominatrix. But top-5 spots don’t come cheaply. Let’s start with a public flogging of John McCain and Joe Lieberman. Sarah, call Mistress Cheyenne’s office. Meantime, however, her party’s trouncing of the whimpy Obama Democrats in America’s off-year election certainly brings the Yankee Margaret Thatcher up a few slots, to #17. Keep it up, girl.
18. Queen Patricia, the Other World Kingdom. Proof positive that the right woman doesn’t even have to be seen to be dominant.
19. Taylor Momsen. It’s hard to see the torch passing to anyone but Britney Spars after that kiss — oh, that kiss — from Madonna. But young Taylor has the chutzpah and the Schtick… a cool dismissal of her critics and open use of sexual power that spells femdom all over. We can’t pretend she’s not top 20 material any longer.
20. Jessica Alba — she’s hanging on for her top-20 life after recent drippy apologies for using sex to gain power over men. Yes, there are other ways to achieve the dominatrix society; but by the same token, femdom means never having to say you’re sorry.

Have we left someone out? Send a memo to , preferably with art, and you may change our mind. Literate entries from males (which constitute about 3 percent of the emails we get) immediately become the property of CelebrityDominatrix.com, and may be posted for the edification of others and embarrassment of the author.

And don’t forget to submit (heheh) your nominations for the new Celebrity Slave Toplist — men like Tony Parker, Bill Clinton, and others who suddenly realize their place in life is groveling at the heel of a beautiful woman.

Meanwhile, here are some discussion links:

Mistress Destiny Femdom Forum thread on femmes fatale. Say hello to some officious clown named Luke while you’re there.

Lindsay Lohan is not alone in her role as a primordial male-destroyer in the forthcoming Machete — Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, and other femmes fatale do their duty as well.

But her unabashed, indeed celebratory approach to her assignment as a heartless castrating siren is unmatched. And whereas Alba is apologetic about her role as a sex symbol and vows to tone it down, Lohan enjoys her mastery of the penis-brained species. LiLo has, in fact, defied her father’s efforts to quash her die-for-me appearance as a sister of death in the movie.

See the leaked nude stills from the movie, lower right. Wow.

Yah, yah. She’s a Disney brat. She likes to party. She’s defied a (drumroll please) a ridiculous L.A. judge.

Maybe that’s part of her charm. Lindsay Lohan is the innocent child who has grown up to drive men to madness, despair, and death — and, charmingly, as a stable lesbian, doesn’t care a whit about male affirmation.

She’s thus hit #1 on our Celebrity Dominatrix Power Rankings, and happily aloof from the rantings of the male hyp-ocracy. Long may she reign.

Click here

to join the Lindsay Lohan dominatrix fan group.

And enjoy.

(Image use by permission, TVShark.com and Hollyscoop.com, all rights reserved, and under the Fair Use Doctrine. The image is a reduced-quality still used for purposes of critical discussion only.)

“It’s easy to control men. They’re boys – they’re easily toyed with. I tell stories and have them eating out of my hand.” — MEGAN FOX

According to a Fox publicist and an MGM official, she recently kicked the producers of the James Bond movie franchise to the curb, spurning their offer to make her the highest-paid Bond Girl ever. “I want a good character, a strong part, if I’m going to be in the Bond series,” she told a friend. “I want a role like the Fammke Jansen role” — namely, Xenia Onatopp, who converts several males into femme fatalities in her romp through Goldeneye.

Megan Fox faces strong competition from Morgan Fairchild, Hillary Clinton, and others — but, for now, continues her solid run at the top of the Celebrity Dominatrix Top 20 Fem-Power Rankings.