Damned Yankee: Cruel Cameron
chastises a slumping A-Rod
Posted in Alex Rodriguez, Cameron Diaz, celebrity male subs, damn yankees, humiliation, tease and denial on May 13th, 2011 by admin
Cameron Diaz’s delicious game of tease and deny continues with Alex Rodriguez.
A New York publicist who has worked with Diaz on previous films says there is chuckled buzzing among Diaz’s friends about the chastity regimen she’s imposed on the Yankee slugger.
Even when the couple gets together in recent weeks, the source says, Diaz has denied A-Rod release many times, telling him she often prefers foreplay that allows Rodriguez only to reach second or third base… never home.
Indeed, while A-Rod has whined and begged for more, Cameron has taken to the media to offer the world (and Alex especially) some advice. DigitalSpy interprets her Maxim interview — in which Diaz also identifies Rodriguez as her current romantic interest — as follows:
Diaz also expressed her belief that “dry humping” is key to sustaining any long-term romantic relationship.
“One should dry-hump as much as possible. It leads to great things. I’d prescribe at least once per day.”
(The word “prescribe” is a real tipoff. Rodriguez has reportedly started seeing a counselor, as Diaz does already, to deal with his performance anxieties at work, in bed, and in personal relationships.)
A-Rods inability to score with Cameron has been mirrored by growing frustration at the plate — and, indeed, the former is probably a partially cause of the latter.
“Hitting is 90 percent mental,” Yogi Berra once said. (Adding, “and the other half is physical.”)
“She’s basically found Alex’s self-destruct button — and pressed it,” the aforementioned publicist says. “He’s in a downward spiral.”
Going into this weekend, Rodriguez has two extra-base hits in his last 12 games, though he did manage a meaningless solo home-run — hey, ironically, that’s what they call it — in an 11-5 loss to the Kansas City Royals on Thursday.
The Yankee blog at ESPN reports that A-Rod is “frustrated… but handling it.”
Oh, he’s handling it all right… In just a few weeks, Cameron Diaz has teased him down to a weakened shell — a .259 hitter with deep self-doubts about his manhood both sexually and professionally. Recline yourself, resign youself, A-Rod: You’re through.
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