Celebrity Dominatrix

Kate Moss is getting a lot of femdom photo hits for her recent shoot with i-D magazine, and honestly, the shoot is okay, but nothing inspiring. (See nearby sample, copyright i-D, mercifully downsized).

If anything, the i-D photos (hmmm, like for a driver’s license? had to say it) made Moss look exceedingly uncomfortable and out of place.

And that isn’t the real Kate Moss, at least from many previous femdom works in which she appears quite at ease, indeed, natural.

(Those extreme fetish heels will do that to you, as any real dominatrix, or indeed most women for that matter, can tell you. You boys want to know why your mistress gets a bit cranky sometime? Skeewjy yourself into a fetish outfit and try to keep your hair in place for 5-6 hours — or even just, walk across the room.)

A BETTER CONCEPT, with a better result, flowed from her collaboration with Vogue UK this April, to the right and below.

Some critics sniffled that Moss’s takeoff on Sharon Stone — the theme for the shoot was “Basic Instinct” — was inadequate, and even (backseatcuddler.com) “lame.”

We politely disagree.

The images are sleek — “legs, heels, legs, spikes, and legs,” as a style critic has written of Stone herself — in the Stonian tradition, and nicely carried off with the use of lighting, and black and white production, to give the whole shoot a femme noir feel.

The first image to the right, indeed, has a Rita-Hayworth, Blood-and-Sand quality.

(Hmmm, perhaps not coincidentally, Stone also appeared in a Blood and Sand remake, though it was relatively forgettable.)

The second is less severe, more girlydom. Nothing wrong with that, in our book. If you don’t think the young, not fully severe, bubble-gum brat-domme can drive males into crazy submission, you evidently haven’t seen Britney Spears, Rihanna, or Taylor Momsen.

If nothing else, the shoot shows that Moss and the crew she’s done her best work with have a sense for femme fatale fetish style. If you were to ask men about femmes fatale of the last 10-20 years, yah, they’d have Sharon Stone somewhere in the top 10…

But most women would place her much higher, close to the top, an icon. And women, of course, are the arbiters of style, not their male domestics. The enduring power of Basic Instinct and Sharon Stone’s femdom performance is worth comment — and something we’ll come back to.

AND AS MOST of her shoots (save the overrated i-D effort) show — see, e.g., our January 2009 review of “Kate Moss dominatrix” – Pretty in Purple —

if there’s anyone who’s claimed the right to strike a pose for femme fatale fetish, it’s Kate Moss dominatrix.

LIKE SO MANY Disney-style brats gone bad, Lindsay Lohan morphed from lovable twin to worn-out cliche by the time she was old enough to be tried outside of juvie.  At least, that is the facile criticism leveled by flash-poppers and e-zine critics — none of whom, come to think of it, have as much talent as Lohan does in her toenail clippings. Welcome to pop modernity.

In fact, however, she’s demonstrated a real resiliency, and more than a little spunk, in recent years.  We’re prepared to say Ms. Lohan is becoming one of our favorite girlydoms this side of Megan “whoever has the vagina is in charge” Fox.

Here’s five reasons we just adore femme-dominatrix Lindsay Lohan:

# 1. It’s trendy to trash her.

For our money, she’s nevertheless made mostly good choices about the movies she makes — Mean Girls is a classic — and accepts the weasels she has to deal with graciously.  “It’s flattering that people want to know so much about me and want to take the time to make up that many things about me.”

Nor does she engage in that now-fashionable Hollywood pastime of bashing others to deflect attention from herself.  Compared to Britney Spears unfavorably as another pop star allegedly falling apart, Lohan stuck to her guns.  “How can you not like Britney Spears?”  Similarly:

# 2. She doesn’t take herself too seriously.

We loved Lohan’s femme fatale pose on the cover of Radar Online (upper right) several summers ago, poking fun at herself by modeling with tommy-guns and other instruments of death while declaring war on the paparazzi that have hounded her since her Parent Trap days.  At the same time, it was dead sexy — a Denise Richards hairdo together with a bit more saucy attitude and taut legs and tush.

And if you thought the cover was hot, you should watch the video of the shoot. Lohan vamps as if she’s quite at home with the gun, and seems quite comfortable with the idea of dispatching multiple males.

Also with Radar’s permission, we’re posting a clip of the video to the left, and will archive it against the possibility that the YouTube Nazis later decide it doesn’t merit space on their prestigious and intellectually rigorous site.  (Constantly plagued by the vagaries of YouTube, we’ll do our best to keep these videos up and running.)

# 3. She dates well.

According to multiple reports, Lohan’s latest love interest is supermodel Indrani — half of the respected lens duo of Markus Klinko and Indrani.  Indrani, 36, is un homme serieux, a Princeton grad, and a young lady with serious political and social ideas.  Leave it to Fox News to belittle the Indrani as Lohan’s “cougar girlfriend,” but we think its a nice match.

And as the matchup also suggests…

# 4. She doesn’t need men.

As she reportedly told a friend who works at one of entertainment shows, “men are superfluous.”  All the more reason, of course, why so many men find her irresistible.  The male species always wants what it can’t have, and what it can’t have, since the invention of modern birth control, high heels, cock-lock devices, and stockings, is woman.

This reprise (see right) of the classic Bardot pose from Lohan’s 2006 shoot says it all — the pantyhose, the crossed arms and legs. Everything combines to block male access and frustrate the male orgasm, or at least, rework it into a useful tool for use by intelligent females.

# 5. She enjoys herself.  BMFD.

A world with more Lindsay Lohans would be a world with more beauty, more parties, and more servile males, serving at the feet of the beautiful women who are partying on top of the servile males.

In the words of Paul McCartney, “and what’s wrong with that?”

Editor’s note:  1. The images above are reproduced by express permission of Radar Online, 2007, all rights reserved.  Please visit their site.  2. We’re in the process of moving this blog over from google’s miserably failed attempt at FTP service to a Wordpress-based blog.  If you have trouble locating any old pages, let us know; and if you have any skills at basic Wordpress setup, please drop us a not as well.